EP.25: The Power of Working With a Mentor or Coach

Have you ever wondered what difference a trusted guide could make in your life? In this warm and honest episode, I’m sharing how having a mentor has shaped my journey and helped me stay true to my goals—even when life gets a little messy. I’ve had my mentor, Glenn, by my side for over 20 years, and today, I’ll take you through why it matters to have someone who can call you out, cheer you on, and help you uncover the steps you’re truly meant to take. Join me as we talk about mentorship, accountability, and how having a coach can make the journey toward your dreams a little clearer and a lot more doable. Ready to make that change? Listen in!

Hi everyone! Welcome back to another episode of Be Still With Bobbi. Today, we’re going to talk about something so near and dear to my heart—it’s something that has been the number one thing that has shaped my life and made the biggest impact. 

I’m talking about the importance of having a trusted mentor, guide, counselor, or coach. Someone who knows you, who is invested in your life, and who helps you navigate change, growth, and those big life questions we all face.”

If you’ve been following along on the podcast, you know that I’ve personally had a mentor for over 20 years (his name is Glenn … I talk about him, often). He has been one of the most invaluable resources in my life. And I’m not just talking about having someone to vent to or chat with—I mean having someone who lovingly challenges me, who points out my blind spots, and who helps me move toward the life I truly want. In every new year, near decade, and new season. He’s invested in my life, but he also calls me on my BS.

The fact is, change is hard to navigate alone because even if we say we want change, we are naturally wired to resist it.

When we crave change, especially big changes, our mind tends to avoid the change. Even when that change is something beautiful, like stepping into a new career, making a move, or working on our health—our minds, beliefs, and old habits are designed to keep us ‘safe.’ And safety often means sticking to what’s familiar.”

But “familiar” can also be considered The Comfort Zone Trap.

Because, though our comfort zone is familiar, it’s not always aligned with the desires of our heart. And that’s where things get sticky. 

Without realizing it, we can sabotage ourselves, avoid taking steps toward what we want, or get stuck in our old ways of thinking. We’ve all been there, right? Thinking things like ‘Maybe I’ll start that dream next month,’ or ‘I’m too busy to try that right now.’” We can come up with really good and legitimate reasons why now is not the time to move toward that thing we’ve been talking about. 

The problem with this though is that when next month rolls around you’ll find a new excuse as to why it still isn’t the right time or the right circumstance. And it’s all too common to wake up even years later and realize we’re still stuck.

This is where a mentor or coach comes in. When we’re too close to our own situations, it’s hard to see the full picture. Our perspective is naturally biased by our fears, insecurities, and old unhelpful thoughts and patterns. But when we have someone on the outside—someone who knows us well, who understands our heart’s desires, and who can remain unbiased—they help us move forward in ways we might never have done on our own.

I speak from experience on this one. Typically, when I’m ready to move in a new direction or take a step in the direction of something I want, I’m really good at telling Glenn all the reasons why now is not a good time, I’m not ready, I’m too busy, I can’t afford it, I’m not sure what the first step is, I’m too afraid, I’m wondering how it will all turn out, I can’t tell if it’s something I really want or just a new idea … and the reasons are real. All of them. 

This is human nature. 

And because I’ve worked with Glenn for so long, he knows me. He’s walked with me through so many seasons of my life – he knew me when I was young and single, when I was married and struggling and over the last few years, he’s walked by my side through a painful divorce and helped me shape this new chapter I’m in. 

And you know what? It hasn’t always been easy. There have been times when I didn’t want to face certain truths, times when I wanted to play it safe and stay in my comfort zone. But because he sees the bigger picture and is invested in my life, he lovingly points out my blind spots and helps me keep moving toward what I truly want. I journal, I pray, and I talk things out with God, and with Glenn. And when I get stuck, he’s there to guide me and help me see things I might miss.”

In fact, if I’m resisting, he just chuckles and says, “Uh, huh” in that knowing way he does and waits patiently for me to then dump all of my excuses on the table before he reminds me how this happens every single time I’m intentionally forcing myself out of my comfort zone. STILL. After 20 YEARS. I’ve seen my life transform in so many amazing ways over the years and I still get derailed every time something new is in my path.

This is why I created The Be Still Collective. So you don’t have to brave a new chapter, a new idea, or a new decision, alone. And honestly? Even when I’m not navigating major change, I still talk to Glenn every week. There are times when I get on the phone and wonder what in the world we’re going to talk about because everything in the previous week was smooth sailing. And it’s usually during those calls that I have my greatest epiphanies. Because I walk into the call without an agenda. And we just chat until something bubbles up to the surface and then we go from there.

The Be Still Collective is designed to feel similar. You might show up to a zoom call one week and feel like you have nothing to discover or write about. Nothing you’re contemplating. Nothing you need to decide on. And it will be that call that opens the mental gate to something you might not have otherwise realized. That’s the beauty of intentionally showing up to a space that was created to foster stillness. It is in the stillness where our best thoughts and ideas are hiding. And if you know yourself well enough to know you won’t make or take the time to create and practice being still … join us. 

Working with a mentor or a guide in this way is a mix of encouragement, accountability, and even some discomfort. But that’s a good thing! Mentors help you stretch. They ask the hard questions. They remind you of your ‘why’ when you forget. And they provide the accountability we all need to stay on track. This is why I fell in love with coaching in the first place. When I decided to become a trained life coach back in 2010 it was because I’d experienced firsthand what it felt like to go from stuck to stunned at my progress and I wanted to help others do the same. 

And it’s why to this day, when I want to learn something new, I don’t go it alone. I’ve hired business coaches, book writing coaches, and most recently, a health and nutrition coach. 

Because as I age, I know that I need someone to help me make new changes stick. I need accountability, instruction, and a safe space to practice what I’m learning. Without that structure, it would be easy to fall back into old habits. It’s no different when you’re working through major life changes or navigating a new season—you need someone who can guide you, offer feedback, and make sure you’re moving in the direction you actually want to go.

Here’s why this works:

We need guidance in uncharted territory.

When we embark on something new—a new career, a new mindset, a new season—it’s like entering uncharted territory. You don’t know what you don’t know. And navigating uncharted territory on your own can feel overwhelming. But when you have a trusted mentor who has either walked the path before you or knows how to help you get where you want to go, you don’t have to feel lost without a roadmap. They ask the right questions, steer you in the right direction, and most importantly, they’re a safe space to be vulnerable.”

I truly believe accountability and mentorship is the key to success.

We can set all the goals for our future. And I would venture to guess that many of you have, but without someone holding us accountable, it’s really easy to lose momentum. And having someone who is invested in you—who knows your struggles and your goals—can make all the difference. They’re there to remind you that you can do this and that you *are* doing it. Even on the most mundane days that don’t feel like progress.

I would also add, that when you’re learning something new and you have a trusted mentor as your guide, connecting with others who are on a similar journey is invaluable. Something shifts inside of us when we realize we’re not alone. You might show up to a call defeated by something that feels like it’s not working in your life and hear someone else talk about that exact same struggle. Suddenly, the two of you are in it together. It adds a different kind of camaraderie and connection. Above and beyond just working with a coach. 

So … If you’re listening today and you’ve been feeling like you’re navigating things on your own, I encourage you to consider bringing someone else into the process. (And I know you can’t see me because I’m not on video, but I’m over here with my hand raised in the air, hoping you’ll say yes and pick me). I promise you, having someone who’s invested in your life, beyond your friend group or family dynamic, can be the difference between staying stuck and moving forward.

Here’s a practical next step:

Ask yourself: Is there an area of my life where I could use some guidance? Maybe it’s your career, a relationship, your health, or something else entirely. Think about who you could trust to walk with you through this season.

And here’s my invitation. If you’re looking for a supportive community, consider joining *The Be Still Collective* where we support each other in navigating change, purpose, and clarity. I would love to walk with you through this journey.

You don’t have to navigate change on your own.

I will also say this. I’ve spent thousands and thousands of dollars over the last two decades working with coaches. I realize that’s not an option for everyone. It’s just one more reason why the Be Still Collective was born. I want it to be easy for you to say yes. And I don’t want money to be the thing that holds you back. Working one-on-one with me is just over $300 per session. But in the Be Still Collective, Founding Memberships are $59 per month. And because there are a limited number of Founding Memberships available, we’re keeping these initial calls small on purpose. 

I understand how overwhelming it can be to walk into a room with a thousand people at a conference or to join a Facebook group where 300 people already seem to know each other. This is different by design. I want to know you. I want you to know the other members of the Collective. I want you to feel seen and heard and for you to discover or rediscover the most authentic version of yourself and purposefully create your future from that place of feeling grounded and whole. 

If you’re listening to this in real-time, it’s November 1st, 2024. The doors are open if you’d like to join us. Click the link in the show notes to read the details of when and where we’re meeting each week. From there you can click to button to join. And just for fun … why not bring a friend?  

If you’re listening to this at a later date and registration has already closed for Founding Memberships, please visit www.bestillwithbobbi.com/community to hop on the waitlist for upcoming new member openings!

That’s it for today. Stay tuned for coming episodes where we’ll be diving into the importance of clarity as you navigate growth and change. 

Until then, thanks for joining me. 

As always, don’t forget to make time for you this week … to slow down, take a breath, and be still. You never know what you’re heart might be trying to tell you.

Bye for now!