EP.29: Navigating External Influences & Expectations – 6 Weeks of Journaling Prompts Part 4
If you’ve ever felt torn between following your intuition and pleasing others, this episode is for you. In Part 4 of our 6-Part series, we explore how to navigate the noise of external influences and unspoken expectations while staying grounded in your God-given purpose. Discover powerful journaling prompts to help you identify where outside voices might be shaping your choices, reconnect with your truth, and set boundaries with grace. Tune in to find clarity, courage, and peace as you step boldly into 2025.
Hi, everyone! Welcome back to the Be Still With Bobbi podcast. I’m so glad you’re here for Part 4 of our 6-week series on journaling prompts designed to help you navigate the end of last year and step into this next year with clarity and intention.
On that note: Happy New Year! It’s officially 2025. And I don’t know about you, but we’re off to a pretty slow start in my house. My girls and I have been joking that January should officially be labeled a month of catch-up and recovery after the holidays. And February 1st should be the “official” new year.
I can’t help but notice this holiday season just felt off as a whole. In fact, it’s January 17th as I’m recording this and we still have our Christmas decorations up and there are still wrapped gifts under our tree. Because every time we’ve tried to gather our entire family to celebrate Christmas together, someone winds up sick and then we have to reschedule. So far, we’re on attempt number 4.
I’m okay with it though. I truly believe there’s no “right” way to celebrate.
Everyone keeps reassuring me that it’s okay to go ahead and take my decorations down if we’re not getting together until February. But I don’t want to. I like the way my house feels in this cold and sometimes dreary season. The glow of the lights on the tree and the fireplace when it’s on … there’s just something cozy about it that I’m not ready to let go of yet.
That’s the beauty of having agency. While someone else might think it’s strange that I don’t plan on taking my tree down until February, it doesn’t bother me a bit. It still makes me smile when I walk in the house and see all of the greenery around my living room.
I’m sure some of you have had your decorations taken down and neatly stored by December 26th. And others, never even got around to putting up a tree this year. We all have our own way of doing things. And the older I get, the more I realize … that’s perfectly okay.
This directly ties into what I’m talking about in today’s episode. How to navigate your life, dreams, and future without succumbing to external influences and the expectations of others. Because, at the end of the day, YOU are the only one who gets to live your life. And accepting your own agency is part of that. You get to choose – what you say yes to, what you want, what you hope for, and what you decide against.
But all too often, we’re stuck in the mental vortex of worry about what other people think of our choices.
Do you do this?
Say for instance you get a really great new job opportunity and your gut says immediately to say yes. But then you start thinking about what your parents will think or what your best friend might say about the commute or the long hours, even though you’ve already considered those things and feel like the job itself is worth those sacrifices. And so you risk being derailed by the well-meaning opinions of those closest to you, rather than just listening to your own knowing.
This is what we’re talking about today. And I really hope you find this helpful. Because what I’ve learned is that choosing what’s right for you, doesn’t negatively affect those you love most. In fact, when you choose boldly what’s right for you, you are actually giving others permission to do the same.
Before we dive into this topic more deeply, if you’re just joining us for this 6-part journaling prompt series, I encourage you to go back and listen to the first three episodes in this series.
In Episode 26, we explored the power of stillness, introspection, and taking inventory of your life—identifying where you are and what might feel out of alignment. Episode 27 took us deeper into understanding self-perception, how God sees us, and the limiting beliefs that shape our decisions. And in Episode 28, we dreamed boldly by crafting God-inspired visions and learning to trust His timing and provision.
And today’s topic – navigating external influences and expectations – lines right up with what happens after we’ve started to dream about what we want.
This topic is so relevant right now, especially on the heels of the holiday season when the voices of others can feel louder than ever. From family traditions and social obligations to societal pressures and unspoken expectations, it can be challenging to stay true to yourself amidst it all.
Today, we’re going to explore how to stay grounded in your own desires while gracefully navigating the opinions, expectations, and influences around you. Included in this episode will be a handful of journaling prompts to guide your reflections.
So, grab your journal, and let’s dive in!
Setting the Stage:
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in life is this: not every voice deserves equal weight. Whether it’s a well-meaning family member offering advice, a colleague projecting their fears onto you, or even societal messages about what you “should” be doing—it’s easy to internalize these external voices.
But here’s the truth: you were created with a unique purpose. And only you, in partnership with God, can discern what that purpose is. When we allow external influences to dictate our choices, we risk living a life that feels misaligned with who we truly are.
Staying grounded in your desires doesn’t mean ignoring others or shutting them out though. It means practicing discernment and tuning into the still, small voice of God within you. It means learning to differentiate between what’s yours to carry and what’s not.
To illustrate this, I want to tell you a quick story about what this has looked like in my own life.
Years ago, when I lived in California, I thought for sure I’d be there forever. My then-husband and I had bought what we deemed our “forever house” and we lived 5 minutes from my brother and his family and about 20 minutes from my parents. I’ve always been close with my family so it was a dream come true to have them near when my girls came along.
But then. Along came a job offer we didn’t see coming. In Phoenix no less. Away from my family and my life as I knew it. It was a BIG decision. One I never thought I’d have to make. But I knew it was the right decision at the time. You can only imagine how hard and heartbreaking it was to break this news to my family.
But I trusted God’s hand was in this move and followed the prompting.
That move wound up being one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. And. To top it off, it did not work out the way I thought it would. Phoenix was unfamiliar. I couldn’t get connected. I didn’t feel settled. I may have mentioned this part before, but I cried. A lot.
I spent most mornings praying to God and asking what it was he was trying to show me through this move. Until one day, I got what felt like a divine download. A vision of a house. Not the house we were in … a different house.
And in telling my counselor all about this house, he reminded me that I still had agency. To rechoose. To leave Phoenix even though we’d only been there 6 months. To move again if we wanted to. He reminded me that there are no laws against moving more than once, even in a short period of time. Even when you’ve bought a house. Even when you took a job you thought was going to be great.
My immediate thought was of my family. I thought to myself, they’re going to think we’re nuts. Moving again? We just got here! Oh, and the kicker … I also knew in my heart we were not meant to move back. Not to California. Not to be near family. Instead, it was crystal clear in my mind that we were to choose someplace entirely new. Someplace we’d never been.
So instead of calling my family to tell them we were miserable and moving back, I had to call and tell them we were moving even farther away. To Tennessee.
And you know what’s wild? They didn’t question it. Not this time around. We’d already done the hardest thing and moved away. Crazier still, they couldn’t wait to come visit us in the south.
Now, I don’t recommend moving twice in a year. But I do recommend following your knowing and trusting that God is in it with you. Because his specialty is connecting all of the puzzle pieces until the beautiful new picture comes into view.
Not every situation can be wrapped up with a beautiful bow at the end of the story. But in this case? As I’m sitting here recording – I can get up from my desk and look out my front window and see my brother’s house, right down the street.
See? I gave myself permission to listen to what I knew what right for us at the time. And eventually, everyone else made their way here. Our moves prompted their exploration. Isn’t that beautiful?
This is why it’s so important to be crafting your visions with God and then letting them unfold in his perfect way in his perfect timing. In a million years, I could never have known that one decision to move over ten years ago, would prompt the wild ride this last decade has been.
What I also think is beautiful about this illustration is that God fully understands what’s most important to us, so when we’re challenged to make decisions that feel right to us on a gut-level, he’s already working behind the scenes to make sure that we don’t have to sacrifice those other pieces, like having family near.
So, with that in mind, let’s walk through some journaling prompts to help you navigate this process.
Let’s talk about Identifying External Influences first.
Start by reflecting on the external influences in your own life. Write about the people, environments, or societal pressures that shape your decisions. Ask yourself:
- Who or what influences your decisions the most? And why?
- Where do you feel the most pressure to meet others’ expectations? Is this true in all areas of your life or just certain areas?
- Are there specific voices or opinions that you’ve elevated above your own intuition or God’s guidance? If so, how does that play out in your life? What does it look and feel like to stifle your intuition in favor of listening to the outside noise?
- What external influences feel the heaviest or the most draining right now? Why?
- Are you in the midst of trying to make a bold or hard decision? Do you have a gut feeling that you’re ignoring? Do you feel the need to explain your reasoning? Or are you simply afraid of hurting someone?
As you journal and think through these prompts, try to approach these questions with curiosity rather than judgment. The goal is simply to become aware of where external influences might be shaping your life. Noticing is the first step to overcoming.
Now let’s talk about Aligning with Your Truth.
Once you’ve identified the external influences in your life, the next step is to reconnect with your own truth. I want you to reflect on these next prompts so you can feel really clear about it.
- What are your deepest values and desires in this season of life?
- How do you want to feel day-to-day? Content? Fulfilled? Joyful? At peace?
- Where in your life do you feel most aligned with your truth? And where do you feel out of alignment? In your relationship? At work? On your calendar? In your weekly commitments?
- If you could make one decision today that feels true to you, what would it be? Is it a date or commitment you need to cancel? Is it updating your resume and finally looking for a new job? Is it having a hard conversation with someone you’ve been avoiding? Or is it simply deciding to reinvent yourself or your life in this new year after talking about it for months?
This last prompt is tricky. Because most of us know the answer to this question without even thinking about it. We automatically sense when something is out of alignment. It nags at us in the background of our days. We might think about it while we’re driving and or in the shower. So don’t overthink this. Let whatever automatically popped into your mind, be your answer. Don’t avoid it. Sit with it.
This is where discernment comes in. Discernment is the ability to separate what’s true for you from what’s not. It’s a skill that grows stronger with practice, especially when paired with prayer and stillness.
And that leads us right into the how of Handling Others’ Opinions.
Navigating the opinions of others can be tricky, especially when those opinions come from people we love. Use these next questions to explore how you respond to external feedback:
- How do you typically react when someone disagrees with your choices? Do you explain yourself? Do you try to get them to see your point of view? Do you back down and just tell them they’re right? Be honest here.
- Do you prioritize others’ approval over your own peace? If so, why? (I want to make a side note here for a quick second … knowing your “why” is so important when you’re doing this exercise. Because sometimes we have to break down the behaviors that aren’t serving us and see them outside of ourselves in order to break what may have become an unhealthy habit that’s merely second-nature at this point. As a recovering co-dependent, I’m raising my hand, this is crucial to my own growth. And to be clear, understanding your why doesn’t make your reason good or bad. There’s no judgment in this exercise, only knowledge gained).
Here’s another couple of questions on this topic:
- What boundaries might help you protect your energy and stay true to yourself? This one may take some time to answer and that’s okay. Boundaries aren’t the easiest to implement. So let you mind simmer about this for a bit if you need to.
And lastly,
- How can you approach difficult conversations with grace and confidence? Grace for you … grace for others … and a detachment to a specific outcome.
One thing I’ve learned is that we can’t control how others perceive us, but we can control how we respond. Setting healthy boundaries isn’t selfish; it’s a way of honoring both yourself and the relationships in your life.
This leads us to our last set of journaling prompts in this episode about Surrendering the “Shoulds.”
This is a big one. The word “should” is often a clue that we’re operating from a place of external expectation rather than internal alignment. So if you find areas of your life where you hear yourself saying things like, “I know I should … fill in the blank.” Or “I’ve been telling myself I should … fill in the blank.” Pay close attention to these prompts. You may even want to move through these specific prompts more than once.
Let’s reflect on the following:
- What “should” statements do you catch your repeating? (e.g., “I should be more productive” or “I should have everything figured out by now.”) Perhaps you could even keep a running list in your phone every time you catch yourself saying something with the word “should” in it, just to bring heightened awareness to it. Most of us don’t realize how often we use the word should. It’s second nature at this point and a societal norm, for sure. If you want to have some fun with this prompt. Enlist the help of a friend or spouse. Someone you talk to regularly. Every time you hear the other person make a “should” statement, call it out. Not to demean them, just to help them notice. And have them do the same for you. I’d actually be really curious to hear how this goes for you.
- How do these “shoulds” (when you say them) make you feel? Guilty? Worthless? Behind? Unmotivated? Just notice the emotion that accompanies the should.
- What would it look like to let go of one “should” this week?
- How might your life feel different if you released the need to meet others’ expectations?
Letting go of “shoulds” is a powerful act of surrender. Which is something we’re going to talk about in more depth in the next episode. Because surrendering allows us to release the weight of external expectations and step into a life that feels freer and more authentic. I can’t wait to walk you through it.
Closing Reflection:
That’s it for today’s episode! I hope you find these prompts helpful as you dig into 2025 and step more fully into the life you want to have.
As we wrap up, I just want to leave you with this reminder: You were created for a unique purpose. God placed specific desires on your heart for a reason, and it’s okay to protect those desires from outside noise.
Navigating external influences isn’t about ignoring others or making them feel badly about caring what happens to you; it’s about staying grounded in who you are and who God created you to be. It’s about practicing discernment, setting boundaries, and trusting that God will guide your steps as you walk in alignment with your truth.
This week, I encourage you to set aside a few moments to reflect on the prompts we discussed. Let your journaling time be a space where you reconnect with yourself and with God.
And as always, if you need support or encouragement, The Be Still Collective is here for you. Iit’s the perfect space to dream, reflect, and grow alongside other women who are on a similar journey.
We’re opening the doors again soon, so if you’re not already, be sure to get on the waiting list. Simply visit my website: www.bestillwithbobbi.com/community. I hope to see you there!
Thank you for being here today. I’m so grateful for this community and for the opportunity to walk this journey with you. Until next time, may you find peace, clarity, and courage in your stillness.
Bye for now!
