EP.38: The Surprisingly Simple Way to Find Your Purpose
Do you feel like your purpose is out there somewhere—just beyond your reach? Like if you could just find the right job, the right time, or the right season, everything would finally click?
In today’s episode, we’re gently reframing the way we think about purpose—and time. Through stories, encouragement, and simple reflections, we’re revealing how your purpose isn’t something you have to chase… it’s something you live into, one small moment at a time.
If you’ve ever wondered if it’s too late to figure out what you’re here to do, this episode is for you. You’ll walk away with a fresh perspective on how to live more intentionally, hear from God more clearly, and rediscover the gifts you’ve carried all along.
Hi friends! Welcome back to the Be Still With Bobbi podcast.
Today’s episode is one I’ve been thinking about for a while, and I hope it lands in your heart at just the right time.
It’s born out of some recent conversations with my mentor, my best friend of 34 years, and the women inside The Be Still Collective. The more I reflect on those conversations, the more I realize how deeply rooted two of our most pressing questions are:
What is my purpose?
And how do I find it?
We tend to think about purpose as if it’s something we need to look for, out there somewhere. And we often believe that if only we had more time we could dedicate more of our lives to finding it.
So, today, I want to simplify things. I want to offer you a new way of looking at purpose, a fresh way of approaching time, and a gentle invitation to stop chasing the big “what’s out there for me” and instead start noticing the quiet gifts that have been with you all along.
These are things we all wrestle with at some point: purpose and time.
And I want to begin with something my longtime mentor, Glenn, recently said to me during one of our conversations. He offered the simplest, most powerful interpretation of purpose I’ve ever heard. He said that in order to find your purpose, you only need to ask yourself two questions:
“What are my gifts? And who am I supposed to give them to?”
That’s it. That’s the whole thing.
Your purpose isn’t hidden in some far-off career path. It’s not waiting for you in the next season of life. It’s not tied to a job title or a social media following or a perfectly curated vision board.
Your purpose is already in you.
It’s in the gifts that light you up. It’s in the things you do effortlessly. It’s in the joy you feel when you’re fully yourself, offering something meaningful to others—and often without even realizing it.
For me, my purpose shows up in motherhood. It shows up when I create space for my daughters to be exactly who they are and when I walk beside them as a guide, not an authority figure. It shows up when I see other people clearly—when I hold space for them and gently guide them back to themselves, back to God, and into the life that’s calling to them.
And here’s the beautiful part: That is enough.
Your purpose doesn’t need to be grand. It doesn’t need to change the world. It just needs to reflect the truth of who you are—and serve the people who need what you already carry.
This is what we’re talking about today – so let’s dive right in.
Part 1: Purpose Isn’t Something You Find. It’s Something You Live.
First and foremost, purpose isn’t something you find. It’s something you live. That’s a distinct difference.
One of my dearest friends recently returned to the workforce after spending nearly two decades raising her kids. She told me she was trying to figure out the “right career path” for this next chapter. But as we talked, I gently offered a shift in perspective:
Your purpose isn’t a destination. It’s not out there waiting for you in a job listing or a LinkedIn post.
Your purpose is something you live into. One day at a time. One connection at a time. One offering at a time.
So, instead of asking, “What should I do?”
Start by asking, “What are my gifts?”
Let purpose lead the way. And then check in with God often. Because His imagination is way bigger than ours.
Sometimes we ask for a lamp to guide our feet, and He’s ready to hand us a spotlight. But we won’t know that unless we slow down and listen.
So before you create a career plan or chase after your next big idea, ask yourself:
What do I love to give?
What do I offer without even thinking about it?
What lights me up from the inside out?
Who might need that? Who could be blessed by this part of me?
This is the starting point. Because these questions hold far more power than any resume ever will.
Purpose is not some mountaintop revelation as we’ve been taught to believe. It’s not something you have to go out and find. It’s something you already are. And getting curious about who could best be blessed by that part of you is your beautiful purpose in action.
Part 2: But What About Time?
But what about time? What about figuring out how to make the time to discover the purpose that’s already within you?
It’s one thing to say, “I want to live with more purpose,” but it’s another to actually create the time to reflect on what that means.
When I discovered my purpose, I didn’t find it in a book or a five-year plan. I found it by noticing who I am and how I show up in the world. And to do that, I had to take the time to get still.
But for moms—especially for single moms—time can feel like the most scarce resource on the planet.
You wake up already behind. You pour yourself out for your kids, your job, your responsibilities. You’re managing school drop-offs, work deadlines, laundry piles, sports practices, grocery lists, doctor’s appointments, and emotional check-ins with your kids.
So when someone says, “You need to take more time for yourself,” it almost feels laughable.
Or maybe even… infuriating.
Because time already feels like the thing you don’t have.
And by the end of the day, you’re lucky if you have five quiet minutes to yourself, let alone a deep journaling session or soul-searching conversation with God.
I get it. I’ve been there.
And the idea of making time for stillness can feel like one more impossible task.
But here’s what I’ve learned:
If you truly want to hear from God… If you want clarity about your next step… If you want to rediscover the pieces of yourself that feel buried or forgotten…
You have to decide to be “unbusy.”
You have to choose stillness on purpose.
And yes, I know how countercultural that is. We wear busyness like a badge of honor. We equate productivity with worth. We think rest has to be earned.
But what if you flipped that script?
What if your most productive act…
was choosing to slow down?
We have to talk about this part honestly because this is where things often fall apart.
We tell ourselves:
“I don’t have time to figure out my purpose, I can barely get through my day.”
Or “I’ll get to that when things finally settle down.”
Or “Maybe once the kids are older or work slows down or the house is in order, I’ll have more time to think about it.”
But the reality is …
We actually have more time than we think. We’re just not always using it with intention.
Let that sink in. Most of us (me included) don’t really want to hear that.
We don’t want to admit that we scroll mindlessly. Or that we numb out when we’re overwhelmed. So, instead, we latch onto the narrative that we’re too busy without truly looking at our schedule with honesty and accountability.
It’s easy to reach for a device that offers relief – an escape from our overscheduled life.
But, friend, that same device is squeezing out the joy, creativity, and space to reflect. The small, sacred moments that actually make up a meaningful life.
Here’s what I want to say to you gently, and with so much compassion:
I see you.
And I’ve been you.
And I don’t get this right 100% of the time.
But I’ve also learned that time is not just a logistical issue—it’s an emotional one.
When you’re constantly depleted, the idea of carving out even 10 minutes for yourself can feel like an enormous undertaking.
And the most logical solution—to just “wake up earlier”—isn’t always realistic when you’re already running on fumes.
So what’s the answer?
Part 3: Choosing Unbusy—And Believing You’re Worth It
The short answer is: we have to choose “unbusy” and believe we’re worth it.
For me, the shift didn’t come from changing my schedule.
It came from changing my mindset.
I had to decide—intentionally and over time—that I was no longer going to live in a constant state of busy.
That I was allowed to take time for me.
And maybe more importantly…
I had to believe I was worthy of taking that time.
That’s the shift that most women struggle with.
Because we’ve been conditioned to believe that productivity is our value. That “downtime” is laziness. And that rest is indulgent.
But here’s the truth:
Downtime is sacred. Stillness is powerful. And choosing unbusy is not selfish—it’s wise.
The only way I was able to create time for journaling, for sitting in stillness with God, and for getting clear on my purpose was by deciding—ahead of time—what I wanted my days to feel like.
In the beginning, that didn’t mean scheduling an hour of quiet time every morning.
It meant finding the pockets.
Noticing the scroll-time.
Choosing to put down my phone and pick up my pen.
It meant realizing: I am in charge of how I move through my week.
But most importantly, I had to trust that…
- The rest of my tasks would still get done.
- My kids would still be okay.
- The world wouldn’t fall apart if I took 10, or 20, or even 30 minutes for me.
And here’s what’s amazing: When I made stillness and God my first priority, everything else got easier.
Because in those quiet conversations with God, I began to hear from Him what actually mattered.
He showed me what to release, what to shift, and what to let go of.
I stopped trying to control every little detail—and the result?
Peace.
Clarity.
More aligned productivity.
A life that feels lighter, not heavier.
This is what it means to co-create your days with God.
To stop relying solely on your own strength.
To trust that if something is urgent, God will put it in your path.
And to believe that you’re not falling behind—you’re walking at the exact pace He’s set for you.
Let me be really practical here because I know how easy it is to hear an idea and still not know how to apply it to your actual life.
If you want to start making time for stillness—but the idea feels overwhelming—try this:
- Look for the pockets.
Not an hour. Not a whole afternoon. Just a moment. Take a deep breath at a stoplight. Linger an extra couple of minutes in the shower. Seek out the margin in your day. - Notice your patterns.
When do you reach for your phone out of habit? Could that be a cue to pause instead? - Decide ahead of time what rest might look like.
Is it a quiet cup of coffee in the morning?
A short walk around the block?
Five minutes with your journal before bed?
And most importantly—remind yourself:
You are allowed to rest. You are allowed to pause. You are allowed to be more than your productivity.
Stillness is not a luxury. It’s a necessity. And it’s the key to clarity, peace, and aligned action.
Part 4: Bridging Time and Purpose
This is where time and purpose connect so beautifully.
Because discovering your purpose doesn’t usually happen in the middle of a frantic day. It doesn’t come through hustle or productivity or checking boxes off a list. Purpose begins to emerge when we choose unbusy. When we quiet the noise long enough to finally hear what’s been trying to rise to the surface.
When we create even just a few intentional moments of stillness, we begin to see the truth more clearly: That the answers we’re chasing aren’t somewhere far away. They’re already really close. Already within us. Already something God’s been whispering… waiting for us to slow down long enough to hear.
So often, we say we want clarity, we want to feel aligned, we want to know what we’re here for—but then we rush past the very space where those answers are most likely to meet us. Stillness is the place where purpose is revealed.
Even just asking yourself the questions— “What lights me up from the inside out?” “What are the gifts I offer without even trying?” “Who could benefit from what I naturally give?” —those are impossible to answer when we’re depleted, overscheduled, or living in survival mode.
But when we pause? When we show up in the quiet with God, open and willing to listen? That’s when it starts to become clear. That’s when our purpose begins to take shape—not as something we have to go find, but as something that’s been waiting for us to return to all along.
And I can’t tell you how many times this has happened in my own life. I’ll spend weeks asking for direction, looking for answers, craving clarity. And then I finally sit down, journal in hand, and within minutes, I hear it. It’s not because I worked harder to figure it out. It’s because I finally showed up.
God had the clarity ready. He was just waiting for me to slow down and listen.
This is the part I don’t want you to miss.
When you choose to be unbusy—when you create space in your life to listen instead of hustle—your purpose starts to come into focus, often without you even trying.
The answers you’re looking for are already inside of you.
But they can’t compete with the noise of a constantly overwhelmed schedule.
You can’t hear the whisper of God’s direction when you’re running full speed every single day.
And I’ll be the first to admit—sometimes I forget this too.
Sometimes I start moving before I’ve taken the time to check in.
But… When I do show up to the stillness… God always meets me there.
He’s never been absent. Not once. Ever.
And the clarity is often so simple… so obvious… Sometimes I wonder how I didn’t see it sooner.
Part 5: A Journaling Invitation
So, if you’re ready to begin—if your heart is whispering yes to slowing down and tuning in—here are a few gentle journaling prompts to carry with you into the stillness this week.
You don’t have to answer all of them at once. Just pick the one that speaks to you today. Or come back to them again and again as new insights begin to rise:
Here are your questions:
- What naturally brings me joy or energy—without me having to try?
- Where do I feel most like myself? What am I doing? Who am I with?
- What do I offer others without even thinking about it?
- Who might benefit from what I already love to give?
- Where have I believed I need to earn rest or clarity—rather than simply receive it?
- What part of my schedule could I release or soften to make room for stillness?
- When was the last time I truly heard from God? What space did I create for that to happen?
- Am I willing to let purpose find me instead of chasing after it?
Let these questions be a conversation starter—not just with yourself, but with God.
Let your answers be messy. Let them be incomplete. And more than anything, please, let them be real. Let your journal be the sacred space where your soul gets to speak and where your purpose begins to unfold—not through pressure, but through peace.
You don’t need a full hour. You don’t need a perfect plan. You just need to showing up.
Because your purpose is not hiding. It’s right here. In the quiet. In the noticing. And in the presence of the One who gave you those gifts, to begin with.
And the more often you return to it, the more clearly you’ll hear what God’s been trying to say all along.
As we wrap up this episode I just want to remind you – you are not behind.
And your purpose isn’t lost.
And time is not your enemy.
You have everything you need to begin—right here, right now—with the gifts you already carry and the God who’s walking with you every step of the way.
As always, I’m so grateful you took the time to be here with me. If you know someone who could benefit from hearing this episode, I encourage you to share it with them.
Until next time, may you find stillness in your day, peace in your spirit, and the quiet courage to show up just as you are.
You’re doing better than you might think.
Bye for now.
