EP.39. You Are Not Alone
Have you ever felt like you’re carrying too much, but not saying a word to anyone about it?
In this heartfelt and vulnerable episode, Bobbi shares what it means to carry hidden heaviness, how we minimize our own pain, and why naming the truth—quietly and gently—is the first step toward healing. Through stories from her own life, reflections on trauma therapy, and the power of journaling, she reminds us that we don’t have to keep it all together to be worthy of love or support.
This isn’t an episode full of fixes—it’s an invitation. To pause. To breathe. To admit what’s really going on inside. And to know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that God sees you. That healing is possible. And that you don’t have to do it alone.
Whether you’re holding it together on the outside or quietly falling apart on the inside, there’s space for you here.
The Be Still With Bobbi Podcast – Episode 39: You Are Not Alone
Introduction:
Hi everyone! Welcome back to The Be Still With Bobbi Podcast.
Today’s episode is a little different. A little softer. A little quieter. I hope that you find it to be a gentle interruption to the noise of your otherwise busy day.
And it’s not meant to fix anything or hand you a 5-step plan. It’s simply here to say: You are not alone.
I don’t know what you’re walking through right now.
Maybe you’ve been carrying something quietly for far too long. Maybe you’re going through the motions with a smile on your face and tears that never quite make it to the surface. Or, maybe no one around you knows just how exhausted you are—mentally, emotionally, or even spiritually.
Maybe… you’re okay, but someone you love is not. And you’re not sure how to help.
This episode is for all of you. And I hope it feels like a deep breath in the middle of your week.
Let’s talk about what it means to be human. To feel the heaviness of life. And to know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that you’re not walking through it alone.
There Is a Weight That We All Carry.
There’s this silent narrative a lot of us have absorbed: That strong women carry on no matter what. That good moms never drop the ball. That we’re supposed to give endlessly, love selflessly, perform flawlessly—and never, ever admit we’re drowning.
So we become masters of holding it all together.
We show up to work while walking through grief. We get the kids to school while carrying the weight of a strained marriage. We smile at church while battling anxiety or depression. We host birthday parties while silently longing for someone to ask how we are doing.
And over time, that quiet ache begins to feel normal.
We don’t talk about the resentment building in the background. We don’t talk about the stress of being everything to everyone. We don’t talk about how lonely it is to be the one holding everyone else up.
Until… maybe we break. Or maybe we just fade a little. The version of us we once recognized in the mirror starts to feel very far away.
If you’re feeling that—if you’re standing in that in-between space where everything looks fine on the outside but inside you’re unraveling—I need you to hear me:
You are not broken. You are not failing. You are not alone.
And there is no shame in admitting that this is too heavy to carry all by yourself.
Trauma Therapy & Minimizing Our Pain
It took me a long time to get to this place where I could fully admit when things aren’t working or feel completely off.
Earlier this year, at the beginning of 2025, my longtime counselor and mentor Glenn gently encouraged me to seek out a trauma therapist. The general work he and I do together is very forward-thinking and future-driven. But he was becoming increasingly aware that I was reaching the same “stuck” place, again and again. That’s why he suggested I look into trauma therapy.
And I’ll be honest with you—I brushed it off for weeks.
I told myself my story didn’t count as trauma. I wasn’t in a war zone. I wasn’t dealing with anything that felt “big enough” to warrant that kind of care. I even joked with him about how everyone these days seems to be using the word “trauma,” as if it’s become the latest buzzword on social media. And I didn’t want to jump on some bandwagon just because it was trending.
But Glenn, who has been walking alongside me for over two decades, knew better. He knew I was still carrying things from my marriage and my divorce that I hadn’t fully processed. And even though I had journaled through so much of it… There were pieces of it I was still storing in my body, without even realizing it.
Eventually, I listened. I found a trauma therapist here in my hometown—someone who is gentle, compassionate, and well-versed in how trauma actually lives inside of us. And in just a few sessions, I realized something I wish more women understood:
Trauma doesn’t need your permission to exist. It doesn’t have to be dramatic to be real. And your body doesn’t know the difference between “big trauma” and “little trauma.” It just does what it needs to, to survive.
So we minimize. We rationalize. We say things like “It wasn’t that bad,” or “Other people have had it so much worse.” But that doesn’t help us heal.
In fact, the very act of minimizing our pain often keeps us stuck in it longer.
What I’ve learned from my therapist is that trauma isn’t just emotional—it’s biological. It gets stored in our cells. In our nervous system. In our reflexes. And it shows up not just as anxiety or sadness, but as fatigue. Disassociation. Reactivity. Even illness.
And no matter how much we want to think our way out of it—we can’t.
Talking about it can help—but only when the body feels safe enough to process it. And that kind of healing takes time. It takes trust. And for me, it took a lot of courage to even begin.
I say all of this not as an expert. But as a student. As someone who is learning. Who is in the thick of it. Who is starting to understand how much of my healing journey was waiting beneath the surface… and how much freedom comes when we stop downplaying our pain and start giving it the care it deserves.
Here’s a Little Glimpse Into My Own Story:
I recently opened an old journal from the year I walked through my separation and eventual divorce. I knew it would be emotional. What I didn’t expect was just how visceral those memories would feel.
There were pages where I could barely read the words—written in messy, hurried handwriting. Scribbled between homeschooling, and emails from lawyers, and sheer exhaustion. I could feel my anxiety in the ink. I could feel my fear in the way I wrote phrases like, “I’m not sure I can do this.”
But woven in between the fear, there was something else, too.
Little breadcrumbs of God’s presence. The line of a song I’d heard while driving. A call from a friend who didn’t know how perfectly timed it was. A moment of peace while sitting on the floor of my closet, whispering a prayer I wasn’t sure anyone was listening to.
That journal didn’t just tell the story of what happened—it told the story of how I was carried.
Even now, it brings me to tears.
Because the truth is, I didn’t see it then. Not fully. But looking back, I can feel it. I can see the fingerprints of a God who never left my side. Even when I couldn’t feel Him. Even when I wasn’t sure what to believe.
That journal saved me in ways I didn’t realize at the time.
And maybe that’s why I feel so passionate about helping women reconnect with their own truth, their own voice, their own words—because it’s not about journaling for the sake of being productive or “healing quickly.”
It’s about bearing witness to your own life—and watching how God shows up in the middle of it.
Writing My Story
One of the reasons I even cracked open those old journals in the first place is because… I’ve decided to write my story.
I’m not ready to share all of the details just yet. It’s tender and raw. And some parts are still unfolding.
But I know this much for sure: the story that’s been living inside of me for years is finally ready to be told.
It’s both terrifying and healing. It’s forcing me to go back and remember the woman I was—and in doing so, it’s helping me honor how far I’ve come.
I don’t know exactly what the finished version will look like. But I know I’m writing it for the woman I used to be. The one who felt stuck and scared and unsure she’d ever make it to the other side.
So if you’ve ever wondered whether your own story matters… I’m to tell you, it does.
And if you’ve ever wondered whether healing is possible… I’m here to tell you, it is.
And if you’re sitting there wondering what God could possibly do with the wreckage of your past… just wait.
He’s not done writing your story either.
Consider This A Gentle Invitation Back to Yourself
If your life feels heavy right now, I want to offer you something so small it might feel silly.
A moment.
That’s it.
Not a plan. Not a goal. Not a big emotional breakthrough.
Just a moment.
A pause. A breath. A tiny crack in the armor you’ve been wearing.
Could you give yourself 5 minutes today just to check in? Not to fix anything. But just to notice?
Could you let your journal be a place where no one interrupts you, where you don’t have to explain yourself, and where your honesty is safe?
I know it might sound strange, but sometimes it’s not the major revelations that change us. It’s the ordinary honesty. The unfiltered truth that finally makes its way onto the page.
Things like: “I’m not okay.” “I’m tired.” “I feel lonely in my own house.” “I don’t even know what I need.”
That’s what starts to loosen the grip of overwhelm. Not solutions. But truth.
Journaling Prompts to Begin the Conversation
If you’re not sure how to begin, here are a few prompts that might help crack open the door:
- What part of my life feels the most exhausting right now?
- Where am I pretending to be okay… but I’m really not?
- What have I been afraid to admit to myself?
- If I could sit with God and tell the whole truth, what would I say?
- What would I want someone to say to me if they really knew what I was going through?
You don’t need to write a page. Just pick one question and follow where it leads.
Even if you write just one sentence today… It’s a start.
I Also Want to Remind You That You Don’t Have to Do This Alone.
If you’re craving support—if you’re tired of walking this road without someone who truly gets it—I want you to know that there’s a space for you inside The Be Still Collective.
It’s not a place for women who’ve figured it all out. It’s a space for women who are still figuring things out—with gentleness, with courage, and with God leading the way.
We meet weekly on Zoom, and our calls are raw, honest, and sacred.
There are women in the group who are healing from loss, navigating divorce, raising kids with special needs, wrestling with their identity in midlife, or just trying to remember how to breathe again.
And if you feel like you’re the only one going through what you’re going through—I promise you, you’re not.
We were never meant to do life alone. And this is your invitation to join a group of women who are walking the path of stillness, reflection, and healing—together.
If this sounds like something you want to check out, visit my website at bestillwithbobbi.com/community to learn more. I’d love to welcome you in.
Final Words
Deep breath.
Friend… I don’t know what you’re carrying.
But I do know this:
You were never meant to carry it alone.
If you’ve been white-knuckling your way through your days… If your heart feels too heavy to even put into words… If you’ve been holding it all together on the outside while falling apart on the inside…
I want you to know…
God sees you. I see you. And you don’t have to do this by yourself anymore.
As we wrap up today’s episode, I want to remind you that you don’t have to have all the answers. You don’t need a perfect plan. You just need a soft place to land – and a little bit of courage to keep showing up for yourself, one moment at a time.
So give yourself grace today. Let your journal hold your truth. Let stillness be the doorway to healing. And when you’re ready, find five minutes. Take a breath. Write something down. Let the unraveling begin—in the safest, gentlest way.
And let God meet you there.
Let Him show you what’s next.
He sees you.
He knows what you’ve been through.
And He hasn’t let go of a single piece of your story.
Thank you for being here today. For setting aside the time to listen. And for showing up for yourself in this space. If you know someone who needs to hear this episode, I encourage you to forward it to them.
I’m grateful for you. And I pray that you move into your week or weekend knowing that you are not alone. Not now. Not ever.
Bye for now …
Looking for a resource to help you get started with your own journaling practice? Download my FREE guide here: https://bestillwithbobbi.com/Guide
