EP.5: Prayer & Journaling – Part 2

Do you journal? Have you ever? Have you heard about the overarching benefits of journaling but aren’t sure where or how to start? If you’ve ever wished you were a “journaler,” or if you’ve wondered if you could be the type of person who journals … this episode is for you. Even if you’ve bought journals in the past with the best intentions to make journaling a habit, only to shove those same journals in a drawer unfinished, I’ve got you covered. Listen in as I share the evolution of my own journaling practice and the reason why journaling is so impactful. I hope you find a nugget or two that inspires you to give a go for yourself.

Hi! We’re on Episode Five. I’m excited for this episode for a couple of reasons. Number one,
five has always been my favorite number. And two, I’m going to talk about journaling today, and oh, my goodness, I feel like I have so much to say. I want to fit it all into a short little period of time.

The first question I want to ask is, do you journal?

Much like prayer, journaling has become a practice and a part of my everyday life. Or I should say, my most days life. I don’t journal seven days a week. I like to if I can, but the average is probably around four, or five days each week.

What I can say for sure is, journaling has changed the game for me.

I love the episode I just did about prayer. My reasons for prayer have changed over time. My relationship with God – praying to Him and the conversations we have, has changed over time. It’s become richer and deeper and more profound. I think in large part, that’s a direct result of journaling and capturing my thoughts.

I’ve always written in some form. Ever since I can remember, when I was young, second, third, fourth grade, I would write stories, and come up with characters and write things that were fictional and fun. Then over time, when I got into middle school and high school, every once in a while I would write how I was feeling.

I look back on those journals now and they’re actually quite hard to read. I was such a different person back then. I was full of angst and, you know, just being a teenager – trying to figure out who I was and what my place was in the world. Some of those writings are sort of cringy. But, but I keep them nonetheless, because they’re still a part of my story. I might not want anybody to find them. I don’t want my kids to read them later. At the same time, it’s okay. Because again, it’s all a part of the experience.

That is really the number one reason why I continue to write my thoughts to this day. Journaling is one of those elusive topics. When I talk with friends and colleagues about the topic and ask, do you write? If so why? If not, why not? People tend to fall into one of two camps. Either I am a writer, or I’m not a writer. Either I can picture myself writing my words, or I can’t.

But here’s the thing I want you to know. Journaling doesn’t have to be hard or complicated. I’ve had several people ask me if I could give journal prompts. I think those are great. They definitely have their place. But the way I journal, and the practice I have – it’s much more personalized. It caters to the day and what’s on my heart and mind.

When I sit down and I open my blank notebook I write the date at the top. As a time stamp. I always know where I am in space and time. My first line is typically “Good Morning, God …”

In a lot of ways, it’s a letter to him. And in others ways, it’s just a place for me to have a container to hold all my thoughts, that I can either reference back to later or not. From there, I really just do a check-in with myself to find out.

I ask myself, how are you? Where are you? What’s happening in your life, in your mind, in your heart in this moment? Sometimes I write about what’s been on my mind. Sometimes I write about people I want to pray for. Sometimes I write about the fact that I feel stuck. Sometimes I ask for clarity while I’m writing. Sometimes I just sit and wait for any words, to strike me as a thought that’s worthy enough to be written down.

When I say worthy, I don’t mean, you have to have some sort of poetic prose to be able to write your words, I just mean I’m not writing things like what’s on my grocery list or my to do list, it’s more just a space for my heart to breathe.

I write in longhand. For a while, in the beginning, I was trying to keep a journal in my laptop but very quickly realized that just didn’t work for me for a few reasons. I very rarely ever went back to read what I wrote. I’m also am a pretty decent typist so it always felt like I could type faster than I could think. I wasn’t quite capturing my thoughts the way I wanted to.

So now I write in longhand, every time, and I have notebooks and notebooks and notebooks that are filled with words and thoughts and dreams and heartache. Every word has a place.

One of the things I’d love to encourage you to do is to just try this as part of your practice. When people ask me why I journal, or they have a preconceived notion that journaling is like a childhood diary … that’s only partially true. The way I utilize my journal is this: it’s one part brain dump; for all the thoughts that have been swimming around in my head. It’s one part prayer; sharing my innermost thoughts with God, knowing that he will hold them in safekeeping.

It’s also a way for me to feel seen, even if it feels like no one else in my life, on that day, has seen me or could see me, I know God does. He sees the words as I write them. I never ever feel alone in that space.

But also, part of the reason I write is because it’s a record of my thoughts in real time. What’s really cool is, I can’t even tell you when I started doing this, but probably within the last five years or so … after about a month, at the most two, I’ll find a quiet minute, or several. And I’ll sit with what I’ve written.

I’ll go back in time to the beginning of whatever the first journal page is in a notebook. (I would say the notebooks I use are about 80 pages in length, it takes me about 45 to 60 days to fill one entire notebook). I’ll go back to the beginning and just reread every line.

It gives me a deeper understanding of who I am, how I think, and what makes me tick. I can spot patterns of thoughts that I’ve had over and over again. I can see resolve, I can witness answered prayers. And I’m made aware of things that have been on my heart that are still on my heart that haven’t
yet found their resolution.

Life is so fluid. It’s always moving and changing. And we are always adapting and learning and growing to whatever the next day brings. I find it to really cool to be able to look backwards and see the progress as it happened in real time.

We rarely stop to think about if we’ve made any progress in life. We don’t see those little minute details of our lives because they’re forgettable most of the time. But when you capture what your day looks like and what you’re thinking about in that moment, you can go back and say, “Oh, my goodness, I forgot I thought that.” Look how beautiful the story is unfolding. It’s unfolded more beautifully than I could never have imagined.

You have this intimate connection, not only with yourself, but also with God – who created you. He created the universe. He wants what’s best for you. When you have this connection, you can see the gifts, even if you’re in the middle of a hard season.

In fact, I just walked through one of the hardest seasons of my whole life. I’ve been journaling throughout the entire time and I can see the ebb and flow of emotion throughout my journal on the hardest days and the best days. Through it all can see the gifts that were given to me, that are woven together throughout those days.

It’s really neat. Although “neat” doesn’t even begin to describe it. It’s just a phenomenal thing to experience. It’s your story, and no one else’s.

That’s another reason I want to encourage you to try journaling for yourself. There’s something about knowing yourself on that level. When you’ve written what you think, and then you’ve reread what you think, you get to play with the parts of you you want to keep the parts of you that you love. And play with the parts you want to change.

Your journal is a tool for growth in addition to a record of your thoughts. It’s a reminder of how far you’ve come.

Some people say to me that they don’t want to write what they really think because they’re afraid somebody might find their journal someday. I’ve had this thought often that someday, when I’m gone, I actually do hope my girls find my journals. Not yet and not now, while I’m still in the here and now. But someday. Because it will be a gift for them to better understand who I am, who I was and who I wanted to be.

I hope they’ll be able to see that I lived a life that was full of gratitude, and purpose and growth.

And so, I have a challenge for you. If you don’t have a notebook, grab a piece of paper and a pen and write for just 10 minutes. You can start and end it however you want. There doesn’t even have to be an ending if you want to leave it open ended. You can start it with what I do – “Good Morning, God.” Or “Good afternoon,” whatever you want to say.

Or you can just say the words … “I’m checking in. Here I am. This is how I feel right now. This is what I’m worried about. This is what’s got my attention. This is what I can’t let go of. This is what I’m grateful for.”

It’s such an incredibly easy practice, and easy to skip over.

But I promise you, if you don’t skip it, if you just sit with your thoughts and let them roll out onto the page. You’ll soon be discovering things you maybe didn’t even realize were going on inside your mind.

I hope you try it.

In the next episode, we’re going to talk about putting the two together – prayer and journaling, and crafting a vision for your future. Thank you for listening.

As always, if you want to tell me how this experience was for you, I’d love to hear it! Email me at hello@bestillwithbobbi.com. Happy Journaling!