EP.17: The Slow Drip of Dissatisfaction
Feeling like you don’t know who you are anymore? This one’s for you.
There comes a time in each of our lives where we wake up and wonder … How did I get here? When did I get so far off track?
The descent into this state of dissatisfaction is a slow drip and can disorient and even threaten to derail us when we least expect it.
The good news? You’re not destined to stay in this state. In this episode of the Be Still With Bobbi podcast, we’re talking about what to do first when you recognize the signs of dissatisfaction.
Hi Friends! Welcome back.
I had a whole podcast episode ready to record this morning and I scrapped it. I want to talk to you about something else instead.
I had lunch with a couple of friends last week and the running theme between the three of us was similar. For years, we’d all bought into the notion that the way to go about life was to give and give and give of ourselves until we were so depleted we no longer recognized who we were.
If you’ve ever felt this way, stick with me.
I’m honestly tired of hearing the analogy about putting your own oxygen mask on first. But I can’t think of a better one so I’m running with it for now. Because listen, the point in that analogy is clear – if you’re not breathing, you’re of no use to yourself or the people who need you.
I’m emphatic about this because this is my story. The frenetic pace of trying to keep up; to do more, and to be impressive as you ‘do it all’ is not sustainable. You may not run out of gas tomorrow, but there will come a day when you look in the mirror and think, Who am I? How did I get here? When did I veer so far off course?
And at that moment, you’ll think … I have no idea how to fix this.
The descent into this state, where you feel unrecognizable, even to yourself, is a slow drip. That’s why it’s so dangerous. We aren’t taught to check in with ourselves in order to ask how we’re actually doing.
We’re taught to survive. To do more, to go all the places and acquire all the things. To level up because that’s what everyone else is doing.
But you know what? That’s all built on the lie that where we are right now isn’t enough. And more importantly, WHO we are isn’t enough. We’re almost required by society to constantly be viewing our lives through the lens of lack.
But that’s backward.
The underlying sense of not having or being enough has us solving the wrong problem.
In the last episode of the podcast, I wanted you to hear the message loud and clear – that you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. And if you haven’t listened to it yet, I encourage you to set aside the five or six minutes it will take to listen.
Living a life that’s full of purpose and joy, with intention, starts with reprogramming what’s been modeled. It requires you to do the opposite of what every ad and social media post tells you. It requires you to be still.
The pang of “not enough” that we feel deep down, is not an alert to buy something, do something, or try harder. It’s a beacon. Our internal light trying to shine its way through the fog to tell us there is a better way to BE. Simpler. Freer. Full of desire and life.
So if you’ve hit that point … that moment when you look at yourself in the mirror and wonder … how did I get here and how do I fix it? That’s a GOOD thing. That’s the breakthrough.
The truest version of you has shown up to gently notice that things are not okay and maybe haven’t been in a while. And she’s tired.
The brave and noble act of doing it all and never quote-unquote, “selfishly” giving in to your own desires and needs? Doesn’t work.
But I have something for you that does.
I’ve been working behind the scenes to create a course that will walk you through the simple steps I’ve used, again and again, to feel like my whole self can show up to my everyday life – without feeling the burden of “have to.”
I’ve figured out how to eliminate 99% of the guilt and overwhelm I used to feel. Along with the internal pressure and guilt that come from expecting too much or in some cases, not enough. And in turn, I’m able to show up more present and available to my family and friends because I know that I’m intentionally creating a life, with God, that speaks directly to me.
And I’ve learned that when I show up for myself, I’m able to show up in so many more ways for everyone else.
I don’t need to do what everyone else is telling me to do. I only have to follow the instructions I’ve been given on a daily basis. But I have to be still first, in order to be sure of the order.
By using this practice, I’ve become so clearly in touch with the truest version of myself and have a way better sense of fulfillment. I don’t wonder if I’m on the right path or walk around with the sense that I must be doing something wrong because I feel out of alignment.
The practice I use is so simple to implement and easy to learn. And it only requires a commitment of starting with 10 minutes a day. You can build from there, but your first and only priority right now is learning how to show up for yourself and listen.
The name of my course is called, “Journaling on Purpose” and it will walk you through the journaling method I use (and have used for years now) to create a life I actually want to live.
Because you cannot possibly Pinterest, shop, read, work, diet, side hustle, or PTO President your way to fulfillment. Believe me, I’ve tried.
Today’s episode was supposed to be about this course. The high-level overview of what I’ll be teaching. But instead, I want to dial it back to something a little more basic. Because I get a lot of questions about journaling … but the one question I’m never asked, but I know exists is this:
What’s the point?
Women ask me all the time how to journal. But what they really want to know is, why should I journal? Isn’t that just adding one more thing to my already overscheduled life?
But it’s not about the journal. It’s about the way I’ve learned to journal that makes it worth my while.
What’s in it for you is abundance beyond measure, a connection to the world around you, and a sense of internal peace, contentment, and direction.
I’m so excited about teaching this I can hardly stand it.
In the coming weeks, I’ll walk you through the entire process, step-by-step, so you know what to do.
In the meantime, I want to give you some homework.
Here are the four basic things you need to start this practice. And I want you to have them ready before the next episode so you can dive right in.
- A notebook or a journal. This is not fancy. A spiral-bound notebook is all I use.
- A pen. Preferably a pen you like.
- An open mind.
- A space that invites quiet and stillness. This method works best if you’re not sitting at the kitchen counter while every person and pet buzz around you making noise and asking questions. This is “you” time. So figure out where you’ll be ahead of time.
One other thought. No matter where you are right now, no matter what season or state of mind. This is the beginning …
I hope you’ll join me in listening to the upcoming episodes. And thank you for listening today. I’m so grateful you’re here.
Bye for now …
